Hello! It feels so good to be writing this post and finally filling you all in on what's been going on in my life. As you can already see, there have been some changes - new blog name and new design (thank you Cassie)! But that's not all...a couple months ago, I decided to make a huge pivot in my work and that's what I'm here to talk about today...
In a nutshell, I am no longer working as a health coach. Coming to this decision was a hard one, and truly something that took a long time to come to, but since letting go of my coaching business I've seen that it has been the right move. Here's a little background on how I got to this point.
MY ENTREPRENEURIAL JOURNEY
I've shared a lot of my career journey on the blog, and as many of my readers know, over 3 years ago I left the traditional 9-5 work space to build a business with Beautycounter. This decision has truly been one of the best decisions I have ever made, and I am so thankful I joined forces with Beautycounter years ago! At the same time I joined Beautycounter, I started my original blog Choosing Balance to share my story of eating disorder recovery, intuitive eating, and balanced wellness. As I shared more about my story, women came to me asking questions about intuitive eating and sharing their own ED stories, and I loved encouraging them! That's when I first heard about health coaching and I knew that's what I needed to do.
Fast forward 6 months later, I was halfway through my coaching certification and I left my part time nanny job so I could focus on Beautycounter and my coaching business. That winter-summer had to be some of the most stressful months ever in my entrepreneurial journey. I hit burnout several times, I was sick a lot, and that's when my SIBO started. I was trying so hard to build my coaching business - I hired a coach, got into a morning routine, listened to all the podcast, tried to get into the right mindset, and worked my butt off because I wanted this to work and we needed the money. And even with all the work I was putting in, I wasn't getting clients.
In the fall, we moved back home to the Twin Cities, which brought some relief, and for a time my SIBO seemed to be doing a lot better. However, I was still struggling to get consistent clients, money was tight, and I felt like I wasn't doing enough/well enough in my business. This fall, I had multiple moments where I knew something needed to change. I knew my work was wearing down on my mental, emotional, and physical health, and I couldn't do that anymore.
My first step was looking for a part time job to help pay the bills and take the pressure off of having to get clients. And I learned that when you're desperate, it's really hard to stay authentic to yourself and the vision behind your work. So, I started looking into receptionist positions and while I did get some offers, none of them seemed right. I took two weeks around Christmas off to get some space and think about everything, and I think it was around then that I first entertained the idea of letting go of my business. But how could I? What would I do instead?
Come the new year (2020), I started the part time job search again, and this time looked into virtual assistant (VA) positions. I figured that I had 3 years of experience in the online business world, I could absolutely help other entrepreneurs with the behind the scenes in their businesses. Long story short, I landed some work with the most amazing person in the world, who I am still working with now.
THINGS REALLY STARTED TO CHANGE
Okay, this is when things really start heating up. I was doing a lot - the podcast, Beautycounter, health coaching, and VA work. I was figuring out my routine and feeling a little weight taken off my shoulders with the extra income coming in. Then the pandemic hit, and the whole world turned upside down. Thankfully, all my work is remote so I could keep doing what I was doing. I think for many of us, this pandemic has forced us to slow down and change how we do things. For me it was definitely hard, but for once I had a tiny bit more space to think, and with my VA work a little more freedom to imagine something different.
One day this spring, I woke up with zero desire to work on my health coaching business. I had no desire to work on the business like I had been doing, and no desire to talk about intuitive eating, go up against diet culture, etc. This lack of connection with my work wasn't new, it had been brewing for a while, but I never gave myself permission to explore it. But this spring morning, something was different. I let myself entertain the idea of letting go of my business. I knew I needed a break, to give myself time to check in if I was truly in alignment with what I was doing. After lots and lots of prayer, talking with Blake and trusted friends, I decided to let go of growing my business for a little while. I planned to still work with my current clients and give them my all, but let go of building the business and talking about intuitive eating and ED recovery on Instagram.
HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED...
I truly have not missed my health coaching business since I decided to let it go. At first, I felt a huge burden and loads of expectations lifted off my shoulders. And since then, I have loved pouring more into my Beautycounter business and team and supporting other female entrepreneurs in their businesses. I've loved showing up on Instagram as me, not having to strategically use it to build a business. I have loved listening to other podcasts, not just intuitive eating and business ones. And ultimately, I have loved working for myself, but at the end of the day being able to put work aside and not have to think or worry about it.
Letting go of my business was a really hard decision, but again one that needed to happen. As I've stepped away, I see that my heart was not in it anymore and that's not because I wasn't getting clients or I was missing something, it's because I've learned more about myself. Here's what I've learned about myself in stepping away.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED
I'm ready to live out intuitive eating and living. Intuitive eating changed my life and got me to where I am in full recovery so I will forever be a huge fan. I will always live out intuitive eating, but I am ready to just do that - live it, not talk about it all the time. When I started my coaching journey I was in the height of learning about intuitive eating and living, and that's what I lived and breathed all the time, but now I want to focus on other things. This doesn't mean that intuitive eating is bad or being a coach is bad, it's just not where I want to focus my energy anymore and that's okay.
The intuitive eating and non-diet world is political. I hate conflict. I truly do. And I know that a healthy amount of conflict is good, but debating points of view is not my strength or something I enjoy using my energy on. Intuitive eating is not the most popular perspective, and even within intuitive eating there can be some hostility towards what's "true" intuitive eating and not. Every day going up against the majority got to me. I'm not saying this work isn't important and that we should all give into the majority, but for me I didn't want to be part of the advocacy side of it anymore. Again, I want to live out intuitive eating and living and through that empower other women to do the same.
I don't like being the CEO. You know those entrepreneurs who have all those great ideas but don't know how to execute them? Yeah, I'm not one of those (which is totally fine). Supporting other entrepreneurs made me realize I'm not the one with all the ideas, but I am the one who will make someone else's ideas happen, and I love doing that. I always thought something was wrong with me because I didn't have all these ideas for my business, until I realized that to some people that comes naturally and it's totally fine if that's not me. Because, those CEO's need help reining in their ideas and making them happen.
So, where does that leave me? Right here, on this blog. Giving myself space has rekindled my creativity and desire to blog again, to pour into my Beautycounter business, and be a voice of encouragement on instagram, and all of this not because I have to, but because I want to. My Beautycounter team is growing, and I love mentoring the women on my team and sharing safer beauty with more people. The podcast continues to be a light and joy in my life and an avenue to talk about wellness and balance. This blog will be a space to share my journey help others tap into their intuition and find true balance in their lives. From non-toxic living and beauty, to intuitive living and recipes. My goal is to authentically share how I'm finding balance in my life, and encourage others to do the same. And my instagram account will be an extension of that.
Again, if you made it this far, thank you. Thank you for being here, for following my crazy journey (which is totally the path of entrepreneurship), and for reading this post. I am so excited to show up truly aligned with myself and my work, and to continue to share the journey of intuitive living.